Because I Couldn’t Go to Sleep…

You know those nights when, for whatever reason, you just can not get to sleep? Sometimes because something is bothering or pestering you, or maybe like me, you’ve become instantly inspired at the most random time ever. I’ll choose to blame the previous conversation I just had with a certain person and some of the most amazing music I’ve ever opened my ears to that’s got these hands of mine typing away like a maniac.

Inspiration is amazing, but the tricky part about it is that it’s still just a bunch of jumbled passionate thoughts you want to express. Being organized was never my strongest trait. I’ve got a little skill to it, but don’t count on me to do any heavy filing or closet cleaning, just saying.

The point of this post is that it has no point, and that my friends is the beauty of this. To be able to freely write whatever I feel on my mind in this moment, to express with you what I feel at this very time, is something that becomes not only liberating for me, but intimate as well. 1:40 am and I have no real destination or purpose for this piece of writing except to just release. Didn’t we talk about that last time guys, being able to find your release in something? Obviously, mine is writing and so, here I am.

I was told tonight, by someone who I didn’t think I’d genuinely hear it from, that I was actually good at this writing bit. That may seem such a simple thing to be told, because shouldn’t everyone already have confidence in themselves that they’re good at what they love to do? Well, not really for everybody. Everyone has their self doubts of course, as I have mine. I always knew I really liked to write but I never saw or envisioned myself as an actual “writer” until maybe just recently. This wasn’t the first time that I’d been told by someone that I have a knack for this writing thing, and if I’m going to be quite frank with you here, it most certainly gave me a confidence boost that I’d certainly been lacking. 

“Darling you’re with me, always around me. Give me shelter, or show me heart. Come on love. Watch me fall apart, only love.” -Ben Howard, Only Love.

(Love, love, love that song right now, and that man–pure genius, although it has nothing to do with anything I’ve written thus far.)

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Cotton Candy Llama?

I’m thinking that it’s unusual for me to actually be writing another blog entry at 12 something in the morning. I’m wishing my inspiration could hit me at one daily time every single day, like a routine, taking vitamins or antibiotics when you’re sick, or something.Yet, I’m also guessing that I can’t possibly be the only person in the world that writes new blog posts at “12 something in the morning” either.

Today was quite uneventful, as is everyday lately. Not that I’m complaining, because honestly, I like just being here at the house and not feeling any pressure to be doing something at every single moment like I do when I’m at home. At home when I feel that I don’t do enough I feel unaccomplished and then overwhelmed because I still have so much to do. I’m telling you there’s a comfort in doing nothing sometimes.

The premier for season 5 of Sons of Anarchy came on tonight! And even though I haven’t seen a lick of season 4 I still watched tonight’s episode; was completely lost and confused but did NOT care because sexy ol Jax Teller graced the screen with his beautiful face. I’m obsessed, I don’t care, I love him.  Thankyou.Image

I’ve realized I’m rambling. As a matter of fact the boyfriend just asked “So what’s the topic?”, and all I could say was “I don’t know, I just write.” Isn’t that the beauty of all this though, having a blog? You’re not confined to writing based on a specific topic or even in any correct grammatical sense. You just write about what you please and when you please. That’s the way I’ve always looked at it. Take anything too seriously and I think you could make yourself sick! Nobody wants to be unhealthy so take heed to that advice guys. Seriously.

I want to say that I have something amazing to discuss with you guys but, unfortunately all inspiration has come and gone. What a small little burst of inspiration it was, no fair. I honestly thought I would be sitting here for at least a good hour with some amazing thoughts on my mind to write about, but it seems they’ve all left the building. I’d chalk it up to the lateness of the hour and sleepiness drifting upon me. I hope you guys don’t get bored with me already! I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone thinking I was so dreadful a writer that they summed me up to being boring. Horrible. I really am just tired and the boyfriend gave me a good tidbit of advice earlier “You can’t keep you readers just waiting for days without you writing something“, and I’ve gotta say, the kid actually had a valid point!!

All that being said guys, I think I’ll be calling it a night. Hope everyone has sweet dreams of cotton candy and rainbows!

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