Who You Marry Matters



2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 

Saw something about this topic on instagram today (so, let’s blame them yet again) and it really resonated with me. Since I was old enough to understand that boys had cooties, I’ve always dreamt about my perfect guy and what he’d be like, and most importantly who he’d be. That sounds about right for most of us, right ladies? I mean, c’mon, half of us are already “pinning” our wedding dresses and other minor details to Pinterest. The important thing, though, about finding the husband we’re destined to be with is all in trusting God.

I remember thinking for a very long time, that as long as I’d date a really nice guy who always treated me well, I’d be fine. Sure, that’s not bad qualities to look for in your significant other, but that won’t always be enough. Not if you’re a Christian, and especially not if you plan on truly having a God-fearing marriage.

I’ve gotten to a point and maturity level in my life where I realize that I can’t be with someone who spiritually drains me. The person who’s been specifically hand chosen for me, will be nothing less than a spiritual partner who helps build me as a Christian and a person. He’ll be someone who brings out the best aspects in me; someone who leads me closer to God, not having to bring myself to my knees desperately crying out for deliverance. He’ll be able to reassure me when I’m not sure of things or myself. He’ll know me and seek my heart the way only God himself knows. Most importantly he’ll be the man God has called him to be, and we’ll walk in our purpose together, seeking God first and then turning to each other for strength and comfort.

Where’s all this coming from? I blame Jane Eyre and Mr. Edward Rochester–and maybe they’re not too bad of an example to look at. Looking past the almost 20 yr age difference, and their completely different ranks in society, I’ve come to understand something quite beautiful. Jane didn’t come to love Mr. Rochester because of his looks, she actually says he’s not handsome at all, or because of the money he had. She knew she loved him when she understood that he was like her. She came to love him for the man he was; how he talked with her and understood her even when, in certain moments, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything at all. They felt akin to each other, in ways that few people who find someone to really love them beyond a physical matter can experience. At one point in the book Jane becomes so overwhelmed with passion in speaking with Mr. Rochester that she tells him, “It is my spirit that addresses your spirit;” and he understands her; he knows that their spirits are connected, because his spirit too longs for her.

Aside from Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester, and wedding dresses on Pinterest, I’ve undoubtedly made a conscientiousness decision to refrain from silly and pointless encounters with men that I know better of. I don’t know where my husband is, but I do know that I already love him–if that doesn’t sound completely silly–because if he loves God the way I do, there’s nothing less that I could ever hope to receive him with than open arms and an open heart. He’s somewhere waiting for me so, I too, shall wait for him.


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