Heavy

How is it that even when we know better, we still seem to want the exact things that are going to hurt us the most. I, obviously, am very good at this and continue to constantly do it. Not even in just the matters of relationships, but everything. For instance, why do we listen to songs that we know hold so many memories that are just going to bring back pain and hurt that we’ve already gone through. It doesn’t make sense. And maybe that’s just the way we’re built; humans. Trying to comfort ourselves with our old misery just to make sure we don’t forget how it felt. That’s so twisted in it’s own way that I shouldn’t have to explain anything else.

I hate, absolutely hate getting the short end of the stick. Don’t you hate that? Knowing you’re really, honestly trying your hardest, but you’re not gunna get half of what you expect that you should out of it. I’m trying to breathe, pace myself with one inhale and exhale after another. Maybe because I’m scared, or maybe I’m just genuinely upset. Probably both. But I guess I don’t have an actual reason to justify why I’m putting so much into a simple blog other than the fact that I simply need to vent? I suppose.

This ^^^ is actually like the most important lesson I think anyone could learn in life, and it’s not an hour long lecture, just one simple sentence that you could take to heart and in turn save your heart a lot of heart break. The problem with things like that though, is that they’re always easier said than done. Speaking from experience here, because I still deal with my past a great deal to this day, and I can’t say the effects are positive. Point and reason for putting it there, is simply because I need to take heed to the advice myself.

 

A smart piece of advice that I wish everyone would abide by. Obviously not the case. I don’t think most people realize how much words actually do hurt. (actually I think they do, but I’d like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and not make the whole world sound like assholes. Just saying.) I’d much rather someone punch me in the face than say something hurtful to me. The pain comes and goes a whole lot quicker. Words sink in and stick with you forever. I hate it, because even though you know the person didn’t mean what he/she said you’re still always going to remember.

 

I’d be lying if I said everything was okay, and honestly, for the most part everything really is, but not everything. There’s plenty things I’m having to come to a realization on, and quite frankly, I just don’t like facing the truth. I suppose I should be grateful though. I’d rather know all the bad now instead of later on down the road when I’m too emotionally invested and heartbroken to pick myself up and get it together.

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